Feedback

Today I finished adding my titles into my sequence. Afterwards my class watched what I had done so far and gave me feedback. This is what they said:

• Great continuity between shots
• Inventive font used on titles
• Good too use actual pictures taken from the film
• Good editing between shots
• Could adjust the sound volume
• Unessesary cuts at the end
• Story line is clear
• "Who is back?"
• Title too long
• Not good acting
• Didn't understand the end.

My response to this feedback is that overall I am happy with the comments I recieved. However, the constructive critisism, I don't agree with. There are still some small shots to add to make the storyline more clear, as I have only just started editing and putting shots together. I don't think there is any unessesary cuts, and I am unsure where they would be... The audience will be able to tell who is back, once the extra shots are put in. The titles, are the same length as titles in professional films, therefore I think they are the correct length. My actors did their best and worked very well with me so I am very happy with how well they did. And again, confusion will be sorted out once the extra scenes are added.

By Kathleen Rayment

First Sequence

By Kathleen Rayment

Filming

During the filming everything went well on the whole. My actors took some time to shoot each scene but managed to get on with it and proceed without to much hassle. 


The major problem that occurred was the changing of location. As we travelled to Clevedon pier ready to shoot my media film and was told at the last minute that i could not take my tri-pod onto the pier. Therefore in a matter of minutes we decided to shoot the film in Alexandra Park, due to the lack of time I had to film. 


Although I aimed for the weather to be wintery, it was a bit too cold. It was very windy and started to rain. However the weather did not seem to disrupt the filming, although it may have done if I were shooting on the pier. 


All in all, everything went well. My actors co-operated very well with my directing. And did everything I asked from them without any complaints. Also every shot I had in mind, worked very well. And so did not cause any problems which would of lead me to change things around. 

By Kathleen Rayment

Location Changes

On the day of filming, when me and my actors arrived at Clevedon Pier, they told me I could not take my Tri-Pod on the pier as it can damge the wood. Therefore I did not wish to try and film my opening scene hand-held and decided to change my location.

I then chose Alexandra Park Clevedon.

By Kathleen Rayment

Distribution

For my Thriller opening, I would like Paramount Pictures to distribute it.

I believe that they would be very interested in my film because they distribute a large range of films. From Paranormal Activity to Madagascar. I think with how much money they made form all three films of Paranormal Activity that they would have real faith in my film. Because it has a similar storyline. Therefore it is sure to make money.

My film would make a lot of money because a large majority of people have a thrist for phycological thrillers. And the anticipation the film brings upon the audience leaves them wanting more and eager to find out what happens. The audience will be drawn into the film from the trailer because they will be drawn in by the realistic spooky occurances that happen within the film. And could quite possibly relate too. This then attracts a wide audience which will then make a lot of money for a big distributer such as Paramount Pictures.

Kathleen Rayment

Shooting Schedule

First scene.

The first scene will all be shot in order.

1.       Shot of family enjoying themselves from behind.

2.       Shot of family enjoying themselves from the front.

3.       Mum suggests getting a photo taken.

4.       Dad agrees, and looks behind him to see who can take the picture.

5.       Mum and dad exchange the phone.

6.       Dad gives the phone to a girl that was stood near them, and asks her to take the picture.

7.       The girl then takes the picture of the family posing for the camera.

8.       The girl then gives the phone back to the mum, with an exchange of dialogue.

Second Scene

The majority of this scene will be shot in order.

9.       Shot of the mum browsing through the pictures from the day before, on the computer and prints them off.

10.   Close up shot of the mum smiling, whilst looking through the printed photos.

11.   Close up shot of the mum looking shocked, confused and worried.

12.   (The shot is repeated with slight differences)

13.   Panning view shot of the mum running out of the room.

14.   Long shot of the mum running down the stairs

15.   Long shot of the mum running down the stairs, (camera is now at the bottom of the stairs)

16.   Wide shot of the mum running towards the door and opening it.

17.   (same shot from the other side of the door)

18.   Close up shot of the mum shouting and looking very scared.

19.   The full screen shot of the photo, with the ghost in.

By Kathleen Rayment

Scripts for Actors

Script

(Setting of family walking down the pier, happy and enjoying themselves, filming from behind) 5 seconds

(Same again, but filming from the front) (Characters pointing and spotting out things to eachother) 5 seconds

Carly: This is nice, let’s get a photo taken. (Camera is from Dan’s point of view, who is facing Carly) 4 – 5 seconds

Dan: Um, okay (looks behind him, where Katherine is standing) I’ll ask her. Give me your phone. (Camera is from Carly’s point of view, who is facing Dan) 4-5 seconds

(Close up shot of Carly and Dan exchanging the phone between eachother) 2 seconds

(Over the shoulder shot of Dan giving the phone to Katherine, Katherine nods and smiles in reply to what Dan would have asked her) 4 seconds

(Camera is now in a long shot view of the family posing for the picture, the camera will be from the phones point of view, that is actually taking the picture)Katherine: Say Cheese.

(Camera is now in a wide shot view of Katherine and Carly exchanging the phone back.)Katherine: It’s a really nice photo. (Smiles)
Carly: Thanks, that will look so great in the baby book. (Smiles) 8 seconds

(Scene fades to second scene)

(Camera is in a wide shot of Carly browsing through the pictures on the computer and clicks print on the picture that was filmed being taken.) 6 seconds

(Close up shot of Carly with a bunch of printed off photos, and going through the smiling) 5 seconds

(Close up shot of Carly holding a photo, with a shocked and scared emotion on her face, looking around the room, and puts one hand over her hand and looks as if she is about to cry.) 8 seconds

(Full screen shot of the photo that was filmed being taken on the pier, with Carly’s face now being a face of a ghost.) 3 seconds

(Camera shot goes back to Carly looking worried and confused)
(Dan shouts from downstairs) Dan: Carly did the pictures come out okay? 8 seconds

(Camera goes into a panning view of Carly running out of the room) 4 seconds

(Camera shot of Carly running down the stairs. Camera is at the top of the stairs)
(Camera shot of Carly coming down the stairs. Camera is at the bottom of the stairs) 4 seconds

(Panning shot of Carly running towards to dining room door and opening it)
(Shot of Carly coming through the other side of the door, and shouting at Dan) 5 seconds

Carly: Dan, she’s back! (face of desperation)

Sudden change into the title. “The returning”

Printed out scripts

By Kathleen Rayment

Changes

I have had to make a few last minute changes to my media opening. Due to personal problems to do with my actors.

Therefore there will no longer be a second family. And I have another actor to stand in and take the picture of the family on the pier.

Also instead of the second mum going through the pictures the day after, it will be the first mum, therefore the scene where the first mum finds out from the second mum that something is not right, has unfortunately been cut out.

Other than that, everything is fine and my opening will be filmed as written originally.

By Kathleen Rayment

Shot List

1.     The first shot will be a wide shot of both families enjoying themselves on the pier. The shot will be from behind them. The sound and mise-en-Scene will be the same throughout scene 1. The sound will be the sound of the waves from the sea, the wind, general talking and laughing and scripted dialogue. Mise-en-Scene will be winter clothes for the actors, the setting will remain on the pier for the duration of scene 1, and props will be the essentials for a family day out, including pushchairs etc.

2.     The second shot will be exactly the same as the first shot, except the camera will be in a wide shot facing the families.

3.     The third shot is a wide shot of the 1^st mum, from the 1^st dads point of view. This shot will be facing her directly. She looks past the camera when she talks to the 1^st dad.

4.     The forth shot will be a shot reverse shot, as now the camera will be at a wide shot on the 2^nd dad, replying to what the 1^st mum just said. Therefore the camera shot will be from the 1^st mums point of view. Again he looks past the camera when he speaks.

5.     The fifth shot is a close up shot of the 1^st mum giving the 1^st dad her mobile phone.

6.     The sixth shot is an over the shoulder shot of the 1^st dad handing over the phone to the 2^nd dad.

7.     The seventh shot is from the 2^nd dads point of view, and the 1^st family are posing for a picture. So what the 2^nd dad will be seeing from his point of view will also be what the camera on the phone would be seeing in order to take the picture.

8.     The eighth shot is a close up shot of the 2^nd dad smiling and handing the phone back over to the 1^st mum. The camera stays in the same position whilst she talks.

9.     (Second scene) The ninth shot will dissolve in because it is now the next day. The camera is at a wide shot from behind, the 2^nd mum look at the pictures from the day before on the computer. The sound is silent apart from the printer, printing out pictures and the occasional clicking from the mouse. The Mise-en-Scene is indoor clothing of a top and trousers for the actors, and the props will include a desk chair, computer and printer, and photos and will be in a small office room.

10.  The tenth shot will be the exact same apart from the camera is now at a wide shot from the front, facing the 2^nd mum.

11. The eleventh shot is a side on shot of the second mum, browsing through the printed pictures and smiling and laughing and making general comments and gestures of happiness.

12.  The twelfth shot is a full screen shot of the photo that was seen being taken on the pier of the 1^st couple. This will be from the 2^nd mums point of view.

13.  The thirteenth shot is a shot reverse shot of the 2^nd mum is shock looking at the photo. The camera will be facing the 2^nd mum and therefore will not capture the actual picture that she is holding.

14.  The fourteenth shot is a wide shot of the 1^st mum asking to see the pictures from the 2^nd mum. The camera then turns into a panning view as the 2^nd mum runs out of the room and shot whilst shouting her scripted dialogue.

15. The fifteenth shot is a close up shot of the 1^st mum looking confused. Whilst looking at the picture. The camera is facing her.

16.  The sixteenth shot is a wide shot of the 1^st mum running down the stairs. The mise-en-scene has now changed to be a typical living room in a family home. The sound will be the stomping of running down the stairs.

17.  The seventeenth shot a wide shot of the 1^st mum coming down the bottom of the stairs. The sound will still be the stomping of running down the stairs.

18.  The eighteenth scene is a side on view in wide shot, of the 1^st mum showing the 2^nd dad the picture whilst talking.

19.  The nineteenth shot is a close up shot of the 2^nd dad looking shocked and worried.

20.  The twentieth shot is now the end of the title sequence, with the title ‘THE RETURNING’ in bold. The sound will then have sinister music in the background.

By Kathleen Rayment

Props/Costumes

The props that I will need for my media opening are:

• Pushchairs
• Digital Camera/Mobile Phone
• Computer
• Photographs
• Desk Chair

Costumes, will be modern day clothing/winter clothing because of the weather and we have to let the audience know when the film is being set.

Collage of ideal clothing:

By Kathleen Rayment

Actors

These are the people, who will be featuring in my media film.

Carly Spink - 1st Mum
Daniel Spink - 1st Dad
Oliver Spink - Baby

Katy Batt - 2nd Mum
Andrew Batt - 2nd Dad

Anderson Batt - 2nd Baby
Xander Batt - Child

Kathleen Rayment - Producer and Director

(Permission was granted for pictures to be uploaded)
By Kathleen Rayment

Chosen Location

I have chosen to film my coursework on Clevedon Pier. It is a victorian Pier, and therefore will add a spooky atmosphere and build tension upon the audience.

Images:

Images from Google Images

By Kathleen Rayment

Storyboard

The opening scene starts with a title sequence.

A full camera shot of both familys on the pier, enjoying themselves.

Camera shot of both familys enjoying a day out on the pier.

Camera is from the Dad's point of view, and the 1st mum asks to get a photo taken to remember the day.

Camera is in the 1st mums point of view, and the dad asks for her phone.

Close up up shot of the exchanging of the phone.

1st dad asks the 2nd to take a picture and gives him the phone. Camera shot will only have half of the first dad, and will be focusing on the second dad.

The camera is in the second dads point of view, and shows what he would be seeing through the camera lens.

Wide camera shot, of the 2nd dad giving back the phone, and the 1st mum says thank you to him.

The second scene, takes place on the next day.

The next day, the 2nd mum is going through the pictures from the next day and printing them off.

Second mum is enjoying looking through the pictures, and smiling and laughing.

Close up camera shot of a spooky photo. The photo that was filmed being taken the day before.

Close up shot of the 2nd mum confused, shocked and worried.

The 1st mum implys that she wants to see the photos, and the 2nd mum screams in terror and throws the picture across the room.

A close camera shot of the 1st mum confused on why the 2nd mum screamed at her. And approaches the photo.

In shock the 1st mum runs to the first dad and shows him the picture and warns him that 'shes back'.

The scene, then ends with the title of the film.

By Kathleen Rayment

This Is England - Title Sequence

By Kathleen Rayment

Screenplay

Scene 1

The Present.
Clevedon Pier & The Family home.
Mid-afternoon.


Title sequence on a black background. Background sound of stereotypical day out. Happy family, talking, children laughing and expressions of the couple happy in love.


The first scene starts as family day out to the pier. Family consists of, Mum, Dad and young baby son. Accompanied by another family. The main family represent an 'everyday life' for a happy family. Family are happy and are enjoying the day out together and spending time with each other's company. 


Main Mum: "This is nice, let's get a photo taken."
Dad: "Um, okay I'll ask them. Give me your phone."

The dad then asks a stranger on the pier to take a picture of the family, with sea and beach in the background. The family pose with smiles and arms round each other. The stranger then smiles and returns the phone back to the mum.


Main Mum: "Thank you, that will look so great in the baby book!"

Scene 2

The next day the mum from the family that accompanied the main family, is printing out the pictures from the day before. She looks through them smiling and sighing. Camera shots of the pictures to remind the audience of what happened the previous day. She then reaches the last photo, which was the picture taken by the stranger of the main family. The picture is disturbing. The camera takes a full screen shot of the photo and then a shot to the womans reaction. The main mum walks in and smiles and asks to see the photos, the second mum looks horrified and throws the scary picture in the air and shouts: 


Second Mum: STAY AWAY FROM ME!


The main mum is left confused and picks up the picture that the second mum was so frightened by. the main mum is then also shocked but not scared. She runs downstairs to find her husband and pushes the picture in his face.


Main Mum: She's back!

Original Notes for Screenplay

 

By Kathleen Rayment